Intimacy After Cervical Cancer

Who would have though I would be writing about my sex life on a blog? Before I was diagnosed I was very private, but after so many doctors and medical students  were privileged to see my "va jay jay" (a word that Dr. Bailey from Gray's Anatomy uses to described her vagina), I don't mind opening up about this part of my life anymore. My shy husband was mortified when he read my friend, Bianca Laureano's article  "Cervical Cancer, Relationships and Divorce"  where I speak about our sex life. I have done it so often since then, that now he just shakes his head.

I have to be honest and tell you there was no intimacy after my treatments even when the doctor said it was OK. It took us awhile to reconnect. We were both afraid, anxious and worried to even try. We first had to open communication and start slow. The doctors do not give you a manual as to how to go about these things.  

The vagina is a muscle that sometimes shrinks or become narrower (vaginal atrophy) from radiation treatments but it can stretch back out. I had to use vaginal dilators for a while to help my vagina stretch back out otherwise penetration became uncomfortable. Many times vaginal atrophy can also lead to dryness and painful sex so the use of lubrication can also be used to help ease penetration so that it is not painful.

My husband was loving and patient. It took us time and consistency to achieve a "new normal". Together we embarked on a journey to explore each other bodies all over again in a gentler way. We became more in tune with each other and we were able to reach a place that resulted in a more pleasurable way to enjoy each other. Don't get me wrong, it did not happened overnight, it took patience, communication, consistency and love from one another to reach that good place.

Having an open communication with your partner is very important.  Life is not the same after cancer in many aspects, and you and your partner have to find what works for both of you.  There is no manual to follow and I am just giving you a point of reference from my own experience.


I consider myself very lucky to have a guy that was willing to work with me at my own pace and we both found a better place. We enjoy our intimacy much more now than before. 

 Me and my husband Freddie
For more information check out:
Your sex life and Cervical Cancer

2 comments:

  1. I think it is achievable. The love that is the bond will renew intimacy.
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  2. You are so lucky that you have a guy that was willing to work with me at my own pace and we both found a better place.

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